Fundamentally untrustworthy??
Dec. 9th, 2007 04:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
G was meant to be coming over today but he was out with the hockey lads last nite and says he thinks he ate something funny and is feeling unwell. This could all be true and probably is; he does suffer with his tummy but I started to feel paranoid. I know it's silly but I though he could have someone there and he's just keeping me sweet. That actually he's not ill but with someone else. I know this is silly but I still FEEL worried. It's so hard to know something and to match up your feelings to it. He text me at 1 last nite to say he misses me so it's very unlikely he's with someone else.
I know I sound like a psycho but actually I trust G more than anyone else I've ever been with but I do believe people are fundamentally untrustworthy and I include myself in that. He doesn't know I have little fits of paranoia like this and I do control them so well now. I know it's me. Anyhoo if he did cheat there would be fuck all I can do. If he's going to he's going to and there is nowt I can do. We're happy when we are together and he wants me to move in and stuff so I know I'm being crazy. It's crap when u are down coz it's hard to get things in perspective.
I know I sound like a psycho but actually I trust G more than anyone else I've ever been with but I do believe people are fundamentally untrustworthy and I include myself in that. He doesn't know I have little fits of paranoia like this and I do control them so well now. I know it's me. Anyhoo if he did cheat there would be fuck all I can do. If he's going to he's going to and there is nowt I can do. We're happy when we are together and he wants me to move in and stuff so I know I'm being crazy. It's crap when u are down coz it's hard to get things in perspective.