It's been a beautiful day, even after the rain

[Error: unknown template qotd] At the moment it's a picture of John and Me. We're in Great Yarmouth in Norfolk. It's quite a windy day and the sky is a little over cast. We are riding in a horse and cart. John is wearing this hiddeous jumper (that I quite liked coz it belonged to him but which I KNOW is hiddeous) and he has his arm around me. He is looking off into the middle distance but has a sort of proud look on his face. I have long hair that is blowing all over the place, my head is bowed and I'm laughing.

Am in the process of making my mum a Super Fun Happy Tape with nothing but up lifting, up tempo, happy songs on it. It's brilliant even if I do say so myself. Lots of soul, some hip-hop, ska, rocky/punk stuff. It also shows how cool my mum is with music. Must be where I get it from!

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1.My Mum - she is a good friend and I talk to her nearly evry day. She loves me unconditionally and I know she likes who I am and is proud of me.
2. G - he loves me and cares for me even tho I'm a div sometimes. I love the fact that he respects me and doesn't force me into anything. He works with me and I am always happier when I am in his company.
3. Being able to read - It's amazing how many kids I teach that just can't do it to any decent standard. I love reading it's such an excellent escape and I think I'd go crazy without it.
4. Not being an only child - it is a blessing and a curse. A curse coz she is a bit loopy and I have to look after her, you also have that comparison crap and sibling rivelry. (There is a huge photo of her in our house and I swear not one of me until my graduation!) A blessing coz she sometimes looks after me, I know that actually she does love me and we deal with stuff as a team.
5. Having had John in my life - he taught me loads and I know people hate gypsies for whatever reason but he taught me loads about them and I loved that. He told so many stories and loved me SO much and although it hurts so bad that I have lost that it was better to have had it and lost it than to never have had it at all. He was ahuge influence on me and since I like the way I am coz he loved me that way I will forever be greatful for that.
6.Dad - things have been rough between us but he is a nice man at heart and taught me to be kind and expect kindness. And as we according to freud seek someonee like our father then he has set the bar high in some ways. He also stands up for the under dog and I get my love of animals from him.
7. Being born in the U.K - where I am free to do as I choose, vote, get and education. It may not always be the best but compared to some places we are SO lucky. Also somewhere like Norway where it is so dark would truly do my nut in.
8. Animals - They just make life better, pets, wildlife, birds and stuff withput them life would be rubbish.
9. My friends - especially Jules and Loni as they truly make me smile and we have the best times.
10. Having enough money - when I was young we had sweet F A and I am by no means loaded AT ALL but it's nice to be able to eat nice things and be warm and not worry that the electric has been cut off and there is no food in the house. Money cannot make you happy but the lack of it is truly miserable.

Last weekend there was a mass fall out of emotion for me. I'm such a bugger at keeping it all in and struggling on and the BAM! it all comes out in a torrent. I went out on friday with doe eyed jo (who is THE nicest person in the world) and talked. I got drunk and wted to dance and then that mood progessed into sad and then into depressed. SOme woman came round supposedly collecting for cancer, that set me off. So I tried to talk about bollocks for a while but was to depressed to sustain in so walked home. I got home and was stupid and went back to my old ways, twat!

On wednesday I went to the hospital . They have finally offered me a hearing aid! It's only taken 2 and a half years. Apparently the waiting list is about a year long - joy.

Step dad went to the hospital on thursday, he starts kemo on tuesday. He will lose his hair. It's too depressing to think about. My dad's emphasema is getting worse and he says that the 2 of them are "racing each other to the gave". No wonder I get so low!

S.A.D is upon me!

In good news went to Brighton with my 3 best friends last nite who I LOVE to death. One is going travelling come jan and I will miss her loads, she is the glue that holds the rest of us together. Me and Jules spent ages by the sea, it's good for the soul, just what I needed and were hopefully going to go to Highgate cemetry soon and speakers courner. I love Jules so so cool and interesting and clever and she loves simple things like me (not that I'm simple though I maybe, but we like the inexpensive, natural things in life)

but it's not! To top all the thrilling news my uncle died a few days ago, mixed up feelings towards this. Half pleased the fucker is dead but his timing sucks. Also my cousin's wife had a massive heart attack. So all is not rosie in the garden of Mcmurphy.